Friday, 31 July 2015


Here I am aged 25 and just been told I have cancer. I am sat in my living room with laptop and snuggled up with my dog. Sitting here with all the thoughts running through my mind with no one to talk to. Then I see the bookmark for my blog, somewhere that I have not been too in a long time. I couldn't help but click it. So here I am pulled back to the place I use to love to come and write down my thoughts and feelings. I suppose it is only natural really, it is the place where I feel I can just say what I want when I want. Just write it down, get it all off my chest. Put my thoughts down and make sense of it all.
My story starts last October and i feel it the dreaded lump.
Me being me just pushes it to the back of my mind, it will be okay I tell myself it will just disappear. I kept thinking the doctor would just say I was being silly and make me feel stupid. Would just blame it on my weight like they always did,
Well i'm sure you guessed it by now it didn't go away.
Finally in April I go to the doctors and they referred me for test. I am meant to be seen within weeks but here I am 4 MONTHS later and the results are in.....
I do have the dreaded C word,,,,,,,,
Now it was all a blur and I cannot remember everything that the doctor said I cannot even remember what he said it was called.
The doctor said what I have is very rare I had cancer but not cancer as I know it. It is very low grade and I would just need to have surgery to remove the cancerous tumor and then have it tested. There is only a 10% chance that it has spread.
Now I know them odds are VERY good but I am not the luckiest person in the world. I already have a rare cancer and I have had such bad luck just getting the hospital appointments. 
They have lost my referral letter
Sent letters to  the wrong address 
Sent out wrong dates and times for my appointments.
And that is just to begin with.
So if anyone was going to end up with the bad news it would be me.
Listen to me moaning and droning on, People have much worse diagnoses than me all the time. I am being silly but I just cannot help it. To be honest I really wasn't expecting for it be anything at all. It will never happen to me and all that rubbish. I am sure everything will be fine in the end whatever the outcome, Just got to stay positive. 
Now that I have some of that off my chest maybe I will be able to get on with my day and function a little better. 
Before I go I would just like to say please please go to the doctors the moment you suspect anything is wrong, Don't be foolish and put it off because you don't like doctors like I did.  
Thanks for reading my rambalings
KayleyJane x

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